The Exploding Gopher

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today is an incredibly special day for a number of reasons. One, today is the sixth birthday of the Exploding Gopher. While the actual blog's age doesn't matter, as this is the first post in almost two years, it also marks my sixth year as a member of the blogging world. I have worked through many, many, many, many, many different forums for expressing myself through words, and the promise of free-form online writing has always been alluring to me. Though I have certainly taken some significant breaks from this world, I think it's clear that the blogosphere (and particularly Blogger, itself) has hosted and put up with a good share of my musing.

Second, and more importantly, I recently had a rather surprising opportunity to revisit this original blog project. Like reading through an old journal or diary, the experience was confusing, enlightening, and embarrassing. Sometimes I wrote about what I was thinking but not about what was happening; sometimes I did the opposite. Oftentimes I merely spit out a response to other kinds of media--books, articles, movies, or music. Regardless, reading a host of old writing from my past, particularly the first political writing I ever did, plainly reveals the ways I've grown since I was a young teen. I have, to a certain degree, grown out of my cynicism and negativity. I have refined my political views to make them more logical and consistent with the values by which I want to live. I have experienced living on my own, graduating from university, making my own money, learning to work with children, and connecting with religion and God in a way I never knew possible.

I have also experienced love. I am no expert on the subject, and I will admit that I have a lot to learn when it comes to relationships. However, I also no longer believe that Valentine's Day is a complete sham. Yes, it is a Hallmark holiday. Yes, sometimes the message of a holiday (any holiday) can get messed up by consumerism. Valentine's Day, however, is an opportunity for us to celebrate love. If you can get past the candy hearts, the cutesy cards, the stuffed Cupids with heart-shaped bow-and-arrows, and the red and pink decorations which engulf the aisles of the grocery store, you can actually find something quite meaningful.

In elementary school, Valentine's Day was the day that everybody brought in their piles of cards and candy to class. Remember to bring one for everyone! When you're little, everyone gets to have lots of Valentines. It was a day to walk around and drop your cards in everyone's decorated mail boxes and even a chance to slip a secret note to the one person you really liked. It was one of my favorite days back then, but I lost sight of that carefree happiness. We tend to get tunnel-vision around days like today, and when we don't have a "special someone" with whom we can share the holiday, we end up wanting greeting cards that say "Happy Singles Awareness Day!" But that's not really what Valentine's Day is about either. If anything, it's an opportunity to remind the people in our lives that we love them, and God knows that our world needs more of that.

Finally, I have a not-so-secret note to slip into someone's Valentine's Day mailbox:

I have been lucky enough to be in a relationship with a truly remarkable and beautiful young woman over the past year and a half (ish). She has positively changed my life in every way, and I know that I am a better person for her influence. Whether we're going out with friends, cooking up a storm, or just sitting together playing Nintendo (I know, a girl who plays video games with me--she's a keeper), it's clear that my life would simply not be the same without her. I look forward to seeing her every day. So, Becca, this one's for you:

Happy Valentine's Day. I love you.

Time Undone

2007-03-29T21:11:00.000-06:00

This is the last post to the Exploding Gopher. It's been a great ride. More than three years have passed since my first angry Valentine's Day post in my sophomore year in high school.

A lot has happened since then. I've had three birthdays, I graduated high school, and I even enjoyed a lovely Valentine's Day with a beautiful girl this year.

Keeping up with these changes, my ridiculous, argumentative, silly, blasphemous self has migrated. This just doesn't fit me anymore.

To read new things (verse and prose), please visit me at Time Undone. Take the time to comment if you're going to keep up with the new one. Thanks for a phenomenal few years; I actually did gain a sense of national (and, in a sense, global) community through this experience. I hope that continues as my online personality evolves with me.

Growing up

2006-12-21T21:22:00.000-07:00

This isn't a rambling post like most are, but rather a comment I made today and thought a lot about.

I should back up. I was supposed to go home from school yesterday, but I was snowed into Boulder. The pictures on the news don't do justice to the sheer amount of snow that Colorado experienced this week. Holy shit.

But, I was having breakfast with a couple of people in the dining hall this morning, and it struck me that a similar blizzard hit in 2003 (when I was a freshman in high school) the week before spring break, and I ended up with four extra days without school. I was SO excited. I called all my friends, made more hot chocolate than one freshman could drink, and just spent all of my time relaxing. This blizzard, I was busy worrying about my friends' travel plans, trying to pack and move out for the four weeks of winter break, figuring out how the hell I was going to drive a '95 Civic from Boulder to Denver in this kind of weather (I did it), and just generally being unhappy and wishing I was home.

I've grown up too fast.

Happy Late Thanksgiving!

2006-11-24T19:49:00.000-07:00

Funny story. I've been meaning to post to this blog for quite awhile now. I finished a post a couple of nights ago, but didn't really like it. So, I'm starting from scratch. Maybe this time, I'll make sense.

Guess that's not really funny.

I spent the last week at home. It's been very odd living here again, as I've acclimated to college life in my dorm. All of a sudden, my old friends are home, and my new friends are scattered throughout the country. A lot changes in three months.

I guess you never know what you're made of until you move out of the house and live on your own. It's a very weird feeling; I'm still strongly tied to family and friends in Denver, but I've got an entire life built around university in Boulder. It's been a time of self-reflection and discovery.

I've found my roots in Judaism in a way I did not expect. Given the fast-paced, transgression-filled college life, I was surprised to find that (of all things) a fraternity at CU (Alpha Epsilon Pi) actually brought me close to a Jewish community.

I quickly found a group of friends with whom I have a lot in common, and have spent countless hours just getting to know a whole great group of new people. I even miss them, and I've only been away from school for 7 days. The great thing about coming home, though, is that everyone is back in town. It's like it was this summer before we all moved away, except now we all have stories to share. People don't seem to have changed very much, though I know we all feel like we've changed tremendously. I think we'll start to see more of that as we spend more time away from home, discovering ourselves in a completely independent environment.

Thanksgiving was definitely a different experience. It's easier to appreciate home since I've been away from it. The friendships I've forged over the past years are suddenly more meaningful when I can come home and pick things up where they left off. But, as always, here's the list of things I'm thankful for:

~A loving family that has, without question, helped shape me into the person I am today--a family that has done their best by me and provided for me.

~A group of friends who seem always to be there. Whether I've known them three months or thirteen years, I've always had the best of luck with friends. I cannot wait to see how my old friendships continue across large distances; my developing friendships are blooming and I'm excited to see how I learn and grow with all of these new and wonderful people in my life.

~The opportunity to attend an institution of higher education. Many people do not get to experience this, and I'm grateful every day to call myself a student.

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving and you'll hear more from me when I'm back from Hell Month (also known as the weeks leading up to final exams).

More fun with words!

2006-08-20T11:08:00.000-06:00

Any mildly observant individual can find errors in the use of language at every turn. I found two in the last 24 hours that I'd like to share.

I was in a grocery store (again) and saw a sign that said "Buy One, Get On Free". I understand that this is just a typo, but wow. The omission of one letter brings a completely new (and utterly bizarre) meaning to the sentence. There were people ALL OVER that sign.

The better one, however, was on a blog I was reading this morning. I would link it, but the writing is so poor, I often want to chop my arm off with an axe. Usually, the errors seem intentional (2day, 4ever, etc.). The post I read this morning misused the word "erroneously". Oh the irony.

Fun with Words

2006-08-13T17:44:00.000-06:00

I was in a supermarket today (and no, that's not the funny story). The woman on the loudspeaker was announcing the fact that they had fresh, hot French bread for sale in the bakery. Unfortunately, she slightly misspoke, and instead claimed that there were hot French beds in the bakery. My curiosity got the best of me; I visited the bakery. There were no linens in sight--only baguettes. Now Albertson's is just teasing me.

My other experience with word fun today was checking my spelling of the word "redundant" and found the following definition*:

re·dun·dant
Exceeding what is necessary or natural; superfluous.
Needlessly wordy or repetitive in expression: a student paper filled with redundant phrases.
Of or relating to linguistic redundancy.

I guess just one of those definitions would not suffice. Again, my love of irony allows me to find even dictionaries amusing.

*Source: Dictionary.com

Lieberman Beaten

2006-08-09T09:53:00.000-06:00

Last night, Senator Joseph Lieberman lost the Democratic primary in Connecticut. Lieberman will now try to run as an independent candidate, which means Joe will likely split the Democrats at the polls and the seat will likely go to a Republican.

Normally, I'd be upset. This midterm election (the first election in which I can vote) is the perfect opportunity for the Democratic party to gain some seats in Congress and try to create some positive change before the end of this administration. However, the discontent directed toward Lieberman due to his support of the war is a harbinger of good things to come.

Moreover, as much as I want to see Democratic control of Congress, I believe in the process. The Democrats, who supported and elected the fairly conservative Lieberman, no longer feel as if he represents their interests well; therefore, they're no longer going to support his Senate bid. This is a good thing; this means the process is working correctly. Bravo.

I hope that the citizens of this country continue to demand accountability from the politicians who started and supported this war. Now that many are finally waking up to the reality that this administration has a flimsy justification for the war and absolutely no idea how to conduct it, it's time to convert discontent into action. The Democrats in Connecticut did so last night.

Second life? Try living your first.

2006-08-08T16:00:00.000-06:00

I'm relatively addicted to my computer. I probably have a hundred accounts of some sort online. I've owned a series of websites and currently manage three blogs. I communicate with friends and family using various forms of communication, often calling, texting, e-mailing, AIM-ing, and Facebook-ing someone in the same day. Occasionally, I might even actually meet up with that person face-to-face. However, it's safe to say that I need help.

But even I can ridicule this. I stumbled across a blog devoted to this during one of my lunchtime searches today, and while I haven't spent a ton of time researching this, I believe I already understand the concept: you build a second life (hence the name). Instead of running away to Europe or starting three separate families in three different states, you just build your new life online. You can create a completely unrealistic situation in which you can build the perfect body or turn into an animal. The one realistic thing about your new life is that almost nothing is free. And people aren't paying with "pretend" currency either.

Normally, when it comes to making money, I'm relatively liberal. I think consumers should be protected against evil corporations by slightly less evil government regulations. In this case, I blame the consumer completely. Anyone who would be dumb enough to spend real money on fake stuff (like "furniture" for a virtual house or "clothes" for a virtual person) deserves to end up homeless.

This lifestyle reaches a whole new level of stupid. It seems that participants subscribe to a service, and then purchase pictures of things they want to look at (but, obviously, cannot use). I cannot even fathom the thought process that goes into participation in such an activity. There is no reason for someone who is sitting in a real chair in front of a real computer to buy a picture of a chair so that an animation may sit down.

It gets worse: "Players can purchase cyber genitalia that animate with a fellow avatar's touch."* The idea of animated genitalia worries me to begin with, but the notion that your characters actually have sexual relations with one another is downright weird. I'm all for people doing whatever they want to in the privacy of their own homes, but this is a little too private. Sex is no longer something between two consenting adults (regardless of gender), but has become something between a (wo)man and his/her cartoon. But even scarier, you have to BUY your genitals? You actually have to purchase your own penis? Well, I guess most of these people are used to paying for pictures of someone else's genitals anyway.

But aside from the stupidity, this frightens me. Are we so detached from and bored with the real world that we must invent a different world in which we can "exist"? Have we lost touch with reality to the point that we're deliberately ignoring it?

I guess people can do what they want, but don't people have lives anymore? Instead of spending four hours a day pretending to be a cartoon, why not go out and get real herpes on a real wang? In that case, at least, you reduce the risk of populating the Earth with antisocial, digitally-obsessed sex addicts.

*Source

Create your own reality!

2006-08-07T16:00:00.000-06:00

There's a TV screen in my elevator. Yes, it's impossible to get away from advertisements even in the 15 seconds (or three damn hours, depending on how many morons pack themselves into the elevator) that it takes for me to go from floor one to floor twelve every morning. Normal TV doesn't play on this screen; instead, it's just a set of sound-byte bastardized news clips. This news is brilliant; until now, I never knew it was possible for news to be less substantive than the mainstream media (which, of course, contains less real information than a dog's fart). It worries me that this is the only exposure to news that some people have in a day. Of course, most of this news surrounds celebrity gossip and scandal, but occasionally there's a headline regarding the number of American and/or Israeli soldiers that died the previous day.

Now, news of this quality wouldn't be complete without the watcher's input. For instance, when the Landis story broke, they put out an online poll to measure public opinion. Normally, opinion polls ask people for their opinion. A very apt one would be: "Should professional athletes be fired for using performance enhancing substances?" Instead, the question was: "Do you think Landis took performance enhancing drugs?"

Hold up. The question here is whether or not we believe in objective reality. Who cares what I think? Either the bastard did or he didn't cheat, but the opinion of the generally uneducated public really doesn't enter into it. More importantly, there's only one person qualified to answer that question, and that man is FLOYD LANDIS. He knows whether or not he did it; you, on the other hand, do not (though, two positive drug tests might lead you to prefer one conclusion over another).

The most amazing thing is that after the "A" sample came back, most people still believed Landis wasn't a liar and a cheater. At last check (7:00 AM Friday morning), 59% of people responded "No". I guess the question that people really were answering was: "What do you want reality to be?"

We're the enemy

2006-08-04T17:00:00.000-06:00

People don't actually listen to Ann Coulter, right? The idea that anybody who disagrees with the government is guilty of treason is so outside of my comprehension of democracy that I literally don't understand how somebody could think that. I thought people only said that to stir up controversy and sell books. Saturday night, I found out I was totally wrong.

I had been having dinner with a group of friends when this scary Republican drove up in his American truck (complete with pro-Bush bumper stickers) and parked in at least three parking spaces. The man was clearly nuts: he saw a car that had a "support our troops" ribbon on the back and started hootin' and hollerin' in support of this car. He was walking around the shopping center talking loudly on his cell phone when I overheard the following phrase slip out of his ignorant mouth: "Our biggest enemy in Iraq is the Democrats." Awkward syntax aside, I was still beyond shocked to hear such a phrase. We'll first examine the reasoning behind such a terrible phrase, then try to find some sense in a reasonable position.

These people say the same thing about Vietnam--that we lost the war because of the protests and dissent back home. They believe that national unity is necessary in times of crisis and that disparaging the troops' mission is tantamount to disrespecting the soldiers who are in harm's way. They say that in times of trouble, we have to support the government. My country, right or wrong.

I'm not of the camp that believes that national unity is necessary in times of crisis. The phrase, "my country, right or wrong" has been accurately compared to the phrase "my mother, drunk or sober" in terms of logic. If everybody agrees that something is right, people have stopped thinking for themselves. It's that simple. I guess absolute unity and agreement is fine in a country where the government makes all of the decisions without recourse. But remember, we don't live in such a country. Our leaders are directly responsible to us (that is, if you vote). We have the ability and the power to shape the policy of our government.

With that enormous power comes an even greater responsibility. Because we, as a people, get to have a say in what goes down in all levels of government, we have the responsibility to make educated choices and vote for what we think is right. If we disagree with the decisions of the government, we have a ~~right~~ responsibility to change that.

I'm not going to go into a justification of my views on the Iraq war. I'm sure those can be found elsewhere on the Gopher. For these purposes, it doesn't matter. If I am against the Iraq war, I have the right to say so and try to influence policy in whatever limited ways I can so that my government does the right thing.

I've often heard that the soldiers fight for my right to say what I want, so therefore I cannot say that their mission is wrong. This circular rhetoric defeats itself; if those soldiers truly are fighting for my right to be free (which, in the case of Iraq, I doubt), then the exercise of that freedom is my choice. They're not fighting for the freedom of Republicans to shut down Democrats.

Even so, if I disagree with the reasons to go to war, my action (in dissenting) absolutely supports the troops. I do not want American soldiers (men and women my age) to die in Iraq. If I can influence policy to make sure that our troops aren't harmed unnecessarily, I must do so. I most certainly don't want them to die for an unjust cause. To say that only those who support the mission support the troops limits discussion of the issue and therefore limits the democratic process.

Dissent is the ultimate form of patriotism. I may question my government's decisions without fear of punishment. Our internal enemies are not those who dissent; our enemies are those who ensure our destruction by suppressing democracy at home while promoting it abroad.

Why I do what I do

2006-08-01T19:24:00.000-06:00

This evening, if you caught the Exploding Gopher, you caught a knee-jerk reaction regarding a post I read on a fellow blogger's blog. You know me, the eternal pessimist and cynic--I always assume the worst of intentions and attack people accordingly. This blog has caused a lot of heated discussion during the past two-ish years, and I've seen my fair share of inappropriate comments. I fear I was unfair to this man in jumping to conclusions, and I therefore humbly apologize for the personal and likely offensive things I said about this person. To do so demeans me and compromises my position to criticize another. I understand that and am truly sorry for those comments. Sticks and stones may break bones, but I've been on the receiving ends of harsh words as well--they can hurt.

Having said that, the entire experience reminded me why, despite the breaks I've taken and the difficulty of maintaining a blog, I continue to do what I do. Initially, I just posted a comment to his blog outlining my concerns. I then republished his post and my response here (with some added choice words).

Very soon, my fellow blogger not only took down his post, but also issued me a personal apology for what he said that had offended me. It takes a strong person to stand up for what he believes; it takes an even stronger person to know when he was unfair and right the wrong. For this, sir, I thank you.

This story is proof that, in whatever small ways, you can make a difference. If you read something you disagree with, you can have a productive discussion and get someone to understand your point of view.

Having said that, I understand that the ends don't necessarily justify the means (that is, I'm sorry for being a jackass).

More on Israel

2006-07-31T10:58:00.000-06:00

As you well know, I strongly believe in Israel's right to exist. I include in that belief a right for Israel to defend herself. Initially, I supported Israel's moves against Hezbollah for exactly that reason: she needed to take those measures to survive. However, Israel is making mistakes, and the justifications just aren't cutting it anymore.

I watched the Israeli foreign minister on Meet the Press yesterday morning. His rhetoric worries me. He was talking about Israel doing the "world's dirty work" in terms of combating terrorism, and I could not help but think of the similarity of those words to Bush's justifications of the Iraq war. I do think there is some validity to that argument, but unfortunately, that "justification" can be used to rationalize virtually any action, no matter how atrocious.

It's clear that the recent attack on Qana was not a deliberate targeting of civilians, but an attempt at eliminating Hezbollah. Unfortunately, terrorists often use civilians as "human shields" so that they both can keep their strongholds and win the PR war. Israel is then caught in a dilemma: either the military allows Hezbollah to continue operations in certain areas, or they run the risk of devastating civilian populations. For Israel, both are bad options.

The rhetoric used to justify taking the latter path doesn't quite cut it. Israel claims that Lebanon is held hostage by Hezbollah and that these attacks are carried out only because Hezbollah has not disarmed and continues to attack Israel. On the flip side, we must remember that these are Israeli bombs landing in civilian areas.

I must give Israel credit for one thing, and that is her reluctance to take down the Lebanese government. The regime in Lebanon is not strong; the government relies on Hezbollah to maintain peace in the south. They will not attack Hezbollah because they're afraid the military will split into factions, and therefore, the government would crumble. Moreover, Lebanon views Hezbollah as a force fighting for independence against the Zionist war machine, despite the fact that Hezbollah instigated this conflict in the first place. However, Israel, unlike the United States in Iraq, does not wish to depose the government.

The reason I worry about Israel's extreme reaction is not because I am against Israel. Quite the opposite is true. Israel's very existence is threatened if they lose credibility and support within the region and among world superpowers. While Hezbollah is the immediate threat, there are long-term consequences of Israel's refusal to compromise and negotiate. Negotiating with terrorists (which, despite its claims, Israel has done before and will need to do again) has to be better than this.

I am happy Israel agreed to halt air strikes for 48 hours, despite the fact that the large loophole (that is, Israel can still attack Hezbollah if Hezbollah continues to shell Israel) makes the halt relatively useless. One baby step is better than none, though, and I pray that Israel can make progress toward peace in the coming week.

Remember when?

2006-07-30T17:56:00.000-06:00

Most of my friends know that, while I am often over-sensitive and ridiculously emotional, chain letters are NOT the way to my heart. My casual acquaintances do not have this insight into my personality, though some of them have my e-mail address. The e-mail itself will be in italics. My responses are beneath each section.*

Before the 5 hours of homework you put off every night.

WHEN LIGHT UP SNEAKERS WERE KOOL

IRONY! Maybe if you actually did your homework (or, you know, picked up a book), you would know that the word "cool" does not start with a "K". Idiot.

When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

I, too, grow teary-eyed remembering a time before famous gang members (oh right, they were "musicians") were gunned down in cold blood or when people cared about basketball.

Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your Garfield comforter.
Hey Arnold, Doug, Rugrats.
The original Power Rangers
Or what about....
The Secret Life of Alex Mac.
Ren & Stimpy.
Double Dare.
Rocko's Modern Life.
AAAHH!! REAL MONSTERS.
Wild & Crazy Kids.
Clarissa Explains it All.
Salute Your Shorts.
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
The original cast members of All That.
Kenan & Kel.
The Magic School Bus.
Flash Forward.
Pete and Pete.
Legends of the Hidden Temple.
Hey Dude.Dinosaurs.
Pinky and the Brain.
Blossom.
Hangin' With Mr. Copper.
My So Called Life
Wishbone.
Bill-Nye the Science Guy.
Kablamm.
Who could forget Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jeanie, The Facts of Life, & I Love Lucy.
Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.
Or Nick Jr. with Face.
Gulah-Gulah Island.
Little Bear.
Under the Umbrella Tree.
The Busy World of Richard Scary.
The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

The Wonder Years didn't make me want to be in love; it made me want to vomit. But holy shit, this has to be some kind of bad joke. By far the longest section of this travesty of a nostalgic e-mail is just a list of television shows. Is that really my generation? A 1995 edition of TV Guide? No wonder young people have a reputation of being ignorant and lazy; look at how we've defined ourselves.

When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.

Unless you're Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Agnostic, Atheist, or otherwise not Christian. I mean, I guess movie theatres and Chinese food are exciting, but I wouldn't define my childhood by sesame chicken.

When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.

What planet did these children live on? You can't even buy lunch for $5. You can barely buy a gallon of gas for $5. More importantly, if our childhood "miracles" are all monetary, we grew up far too quickly.

When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday.

No, I don't remember that.

When Toys 'R' Us overuled the mall.

Everything I learned about power struggles (and spelling, apparently) I learned from toy stores.

Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.

Now decisions are made by flipping a coin. It's much faster and more efficient.

'Race issue' ment arguing about who ran the fastest.

This is why you never learned tolerance as a child and are scared of people of different races.

Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly'.

Which, I guess is why one real dollar was a bloody miracle. This is also where you learned that he who controls the money has the ability to screw everyone else. Think like Ken Lay.

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

Where as now being old refers to anyone with whom fornication would be illegal, you slut.

When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever.

When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.

In terms of difficulty, I found learning my multiplication tables more difficult than the old four-button Nintendo controllers, but maybe I'm an anomaly. And I wasn't aware the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ever asserted global dominance, but I have a whole new level of respect for them now.

When a candy bar at the grocery store was the highlight of your day.

Right after you begged to go to McDonalds, you fat pig.

When a first kiss only lead to cooties.

Now it leads to herpes. Look at how much we've grown!

When time didn't matter.

This is almost the dumbest one of all. Of course time mattered: these were the pre-TiVo days. You had to be on your ass in front of your TV with a chocolate bar in one hand and a McNugget in the other by the time Nickelodeon was playing your favorite show or you would not be a happy kid. It would be a hard day for Mom if she let this happen.

These were the days we hadn't realized escaped us until it's all brought back.

Thank you, Mr. Chain Letter. I didn't know I had lost my laziness, bad heath habits, ignorance, and TV addiction until you brought it all back.

You know, in all of this sap and nostalgia, there's not a single word about the important lessons we learned as kids nor about how we can apply those lessons today--nothing about the role of family in our lives or the importance of those basic, human qualities we developed as children. Nothing.

I no longer wonder why adults think my generation is superficial.

*DISCLAIMER: All spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors are straight from the e-mail.

Appalling

2006-07-26T09:11:00.000-06:00

My moral outrage button doesn't often get punched this hard. Lately, I have been shocked to see the number of companies looking to profit from the Israel-Lebanon war.

I got my first glimpse of this when Stratfor, the e-mail policy analysts, started bombarding me with advertisements for their premium services so that every time somebody sneezed in Lebanon, I would get an e-lert. They even made a nifty little graphic with an Israeli soldier and a whole bunch of stuff on fire.

At first, I was tempted to write an angry e-mail. Stratfor is a company entirely based on policy analysis and solutions. However, this motive directly conflicts with the motive of all private companies--profit. If the Israel-Lebanon conflict is solved, Stratfor hoodwinks fewer people into buying "up to the sneeze" analysis. However, since Stratfor does do its business entirely based on all the crazy stuff happening in the world, I got over myself and shut the hell up.

This morning, however, I got an e-mail from CafePress.com (a company I used to like) that had a slew of products dealing with the current conflict. This is ridiculous for a couple of reasons. One, it's a pro-Israel propaganda tool. I support Israel, but I can still recognize deception when I see it. Two, the entire idea of making money off of a tragedy (you know, like a war) makes me sick to my stomach.

Which, I guess, is what I really wanted to write about. These companies that produce and promote pro-Israel clothing are acting in bad faith. I think it's fine to show support for a cause; however, I think taking action is more important. Instead of marketing slogans to me, a middle-class American consumer, these companies should take action to promote the cause. If nothing else, profits from "I support Israel" shirts should be going to Zionist charities. More importantly, a war is not a sales tool. Hundreds of people have died in Israel and Lebanon in the past three weeks. Lebanon has (until very recently) been cut of from all humanitarian aid whatsoever. If you really support Israel's maneuvers, put your money where your mouth is. Don't buy a t-shirt; give to a charity that will help those harmed by the war.

Therefore, I believe that two obligations exist--one for the producer and one for the consumer. The producer must not use tragedy as a money-gaining method. To do so is manipulative and disrespectful. Instead, a company (with lots of money and clout) should be using their influence to have a positive impact. The consumer must recognize the manipulation and, instead of buying a shirt, must actually support his cause through action. If this obligation is fulfilled, the first will be (by default), as the market is driven by consumer needs.

Death is not a marketing tool. The end.

Israel in Grave Danger

2006-07-24T15:32:00.000-06:00

I've been following the Israel story like crazy through both news organizations and policy organizations like Stratfor. There is no consistent story coming out of the Middle East right now, but there is consistent analysis of what Israel faces in the coming months.

Hezbollah set Israel up. By kidnapping soldiers and then launching rockets into Haifa, Hezbollah effectively gave Israel no choice but to go to war. To decline the war path would be political and diplomatic suicide for the new Israeli regime. However, Israel also ignored the diplomatic path entirely. In the past, Israel has been known to negotiate through third parties to resolve the issue of hostages without, you know, invading Lebanon.

That issue aside, Israel still has to respond to the missile attacks on her third-largest city. The nature of that response may play into Hezbollah's goals, however.

A brief jaunt back in history reveals Hezbollah's motivation and ability to act. The group is funded by Syria and Iran, but its operation in southern Lebanon gives it some independence to act autonomously. Regardless, Hezbollah is hell-bent on the destruction of Israel. Iran does not disagree. For a long time, however, Hezbollah has been unable to carry out attacks on Israel. Southern Lebanon was occupied by Israel from the 1980s until the year 2000, when Israel disengaged completely from Lebanon. This long occupation resembled a small-scale Iraq: insurgents would consistently be killing Israeli soldiers even though Israel had defeated the traditional Lebanese army. When Israel pulled out, they made a quiet deal with Syria. They would let Syria occupy Lebanon without interfering if Syria quieted Hezbollah. Both sides kept up their part of the bargain...

...until recently. The UN (and United States in particular) put a ton of diplomatic pressure on Syria. Ultimately, Syria was forced to pull out of Lebanon, leaving the weak Lebanese government in charge of quelling Hezbollah. Of course, Hezbollah was basically given free reign over southern Lebanon. With internal causes supporting the destruction of Israel and external forces looking both to destroy Israel and distract the G8 (Iran anyone?), Hezbollah carried out the series of attacks and drew Israel into a war.

Unfortunately, this war is starting to look like Iraq. A massive intelligence blunder led Israel to believe that its army had destroyed up to 50% of Hezbollah's arsenal, a report that the citizens of Haifa will be quick to deny. Hezbollah is much better prepared for this war than was originally suspected, and Israel has been caught off-guard by how well Hezbollah is standing up against Israeli attacks.

We then go back to Hezbollah's goals in all of this: if they can engage Israel in an un-winnable guerilla war (like Iraq), they will gain enormous respect and clout among the Middle Eastern nations. By inflicting casualties on Israel, they work towards their goal of Israel's destruction.

The conventional war that's currently being fought will be easily won by Israel. If Hezbollah changes its strategy (a widely expected move), Israel may no longer be in a "conventional warfare" scenario. It is now up to Israel to figure out how to deal with an extremely sticky situation. Israel should already have learned its lesson and prepared differently for this war (if not from its previous occupation of the exact same territory, then from its number one ally fighting the same war in the same region). Since she did not, it is up to the military strategists and intelligence officials (some of the best in the world) to not fall victim to Hezbollah's games.

Either way, it seems both Hezbollah and Israel are screwed. Hezbollah will face heavy casualties, a huge loss of supplies, and will be forced into fighting unfairly very quickly. Israel will lose soldiers, citizens, and bargaining power if it gets sucked into an Iraq crisis.

Syria and Iran come out on top. Syria has a lot to gain from the fall of the weak Lebanese government; Iran not only completely distracted the G8 from dealing with the nuclear issue, but also benefits from a long-fought Hezbollah hold-out.

I guess it's clear who is behind this war in the first place. I hope and pray Israel continues to win the wars she has chosen to fight.

Random Thoughts

2006-07-22T10:22:00.000-06:00

Two blog-related random thoughts:

1) I have cleaned up the links on the right side of the page. Given that I'm kind of reviving this blog (for now), I'm going to renew the call for a link exchange: link me and I'll be happy to link you. If I have deleted your link in error and you wish it to be restored, please don't hesitate to contact me.

2) The spell-check on Blogger is horrific. It doesn't even know the word "blog", which should tell us two things. One, the people who programmed it must be borderline-retarded. Two, they're right; blog isn't a word. Even so, the limited range of Blogger's spell-check vocabulary must reflect on us, the blogging community. Given the majority of crap out there, I assume it's an infrequently-used tool anyway. I keep a dictionary open when I write these posts because I know I cannot count on Blogger to help me out. With a service based entirely upon writing, you'd think their writing tools would be better. Whatever.

Do your words have meaning?

2006-07-22T09:58:00.000-06:00

I'm focusing on language quite a bit right now because the Israel situation is just too difficult to write about. Politically, the situation in the Middle East is probably one of the most fascinating things I've ever studied. In the sense of a humanitarian, however, it's impossible to watch. My glossing over the subject is equivalent to an ostrich with his head in the sand; I just can't yet. Instead, my rants about my language will continue.

I work in a large corporation. I cannot tell you which one; doing so could get me fired (given that I'm about to make fun of them). People in corporations have funny mannerisms, though. The "business" people, at least, always give you the sense that there's something they're not telling you. Every time I shake hands with one of them, I want to take a shower and I'm not always sure why.

Regardless, this disingenuousness (yes, it is a word, look it up) translates into the language these men and women speak. It's almost as if they've developed their own secret code so they can talk and nobody else understands, though I think this language is just a cover-up for a lack of substantive conversation.

I'm talking about business "buzz words". I'll give you an example: leadership. Now, the word "leadership" does, in fact, have meaning:

1 : the office or position of a leader
2 : capacity to lead
3 : the act or an instance of leading*

OK, so a word defined exclusively by its own root may not have meaning, but let's just assume those three definitions are self-explanatory and move from there.

In business, this term is often applied to those in the top levels of management. Often, those positions are actually called "business leaders".

We're taught in school that it takes more than power to make one a leader. It takes respect, it takes knowledge, and it takes recognition (among other factors) to truly make one a leader. So are these business people leaders or are they just managers?

Nobody knows. The point of using a vague term like "leadership" is to shroud reality with language. George Orwell discusses this point in his Politics and the English Language:

It [the English language] becomes ugly and inaccurate because out thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts.

When people don't think twice about the words they use and instead string together sentences of meaningless drivel, the language becomes a source of our degradation.

If you've had experience with business people, you know what I'm talking about. Just try to translate a memo from senior management into plain English. It won't be possible.

*Source: Merriam-Webster Online

Is good grammar really that stuffy?

2006-07-21T08:59:00.000-06:00

I'm addicted to Facebook. I fully admit that. Acceptance is the first step to recovery, yes?

I joined a group called "Good Grammar is Hot". Random capitalization aside, I found a home away from home in this group of 1000+ of grammar nerds (both English majors and non-majors) .

However, I also discovered a group of people who believe in good grammar only in formal circumstances. It's acceptable to have poor grammar on AIM, but not in a paper. You can ignore rules of capitalization in Facebook (a habit I really need to break), but not in an e-mail to your superiors.

I argued (shocking). I've said this before: people judge you based on how you speak and write. It's that simple. For the most part, I have no close friends who use "u" instead of "you" when talking on AIM. Now, granted, I do have snobby friends. Either way, though, you use the same keyboard to type everything. In my mind, there's no real reason not to write like an educated human being rather than an ignorant teenager. I know when I read an instant message that's grammatically correct, there is no question in my mind about the author's meaning. The subtle use of sarcasm and wit disappears when language becomes a code that only the well-versed in "AIMspeak" understand.

The posts after that implied that I'm a snob--that I take too much time typing and re-typing my blog posts (for instance) rather than just putting the words out there and hoping my meaning magically seeps into your brain. It doesn't, does it?

I'm making a new goal for myself: I will follow the rules of the English language so that I can be better understood. No more random capitalization. No more writing "youre" when I use the contraction of the words "you" and "are". It's a small contribution, but maybe I can inspire others to be better. Maybe, just maybe, the English language can be saved. But I'm only one man. Help me out here!

Buy My Old Stuff!

2006-07-19T21:29:00.000-06:00

After some technical difficulties, I've finally got the My Old Stuff blog running! This just helps feed my CraigsList addiction. Anybody who wants to buy locally is more than welcome to check this shiz out.

Website to Check

2006-07-18T19:20:00.000-06:00

I haven't had a chance to research or back-track the facts on this website, and I do not condone lies or misleading facts, but I do think it's a perspective to visit and to check out, especially in this difficult time in the Middle East. Even as a strong Zionist, it's hard to watch what Israel is doing. I just don't think she has a choice.

http://www.standwithus.com/

Fear

2006-07-18T19:09:00.000-06:00

I'm worried. Israel has not invaded Lebanon, but that will soon change. The homeland of my people is (again) on the verge of war, and I'm scared.

I'm scared her soldiers (kids no older than me) will die. I'm scared the troops will find themselves in a prolonged, Iraq-like war. I'm scared that more rocket attacks will hit the big cities and hurt and kill more people. I'm scared for the hopeless citizens of Lebanon who live under the rule of a weak government and the militant power of Hezbollah.

Tonight, I pray for Israel and for a quick resolution to the conflict.

Life is Good

2006-07-13T13:53:00.000-06:00

This gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling on the inside. I guess this is more fodder for her to blame the liberal media, but that really doesn't ruin the high I get from being completely right about that crazy bitch.

Language

2006-07-13T13:10:00.000-06:00

I recently stumbled upon a blog dedicated to saving the English language from stupidity. I found them through Facebook, so I have no idea how much good they're doing. They're located here; check them out even though there haven't been any updates in awhile.

In all honesty, I've been inspired. In less than two months, I will begin my life as an English major at the University of Colorado at Boulder. This makes me one of "those" people. You're friends with us; we're the ones who are so busy correcting your grammar that we often miss the meaning of your sentence.

Thus, the dilemma with being a stickler for perfect English. The following sentence can be perfectly understood despite the singular/plural disagreement: "None of the kids are going to the zoo." I still understand that there will be no young human beings gawking at giraffes. Since the purpose of language is to convey meaning, incorrect usage of this type can be tolerated. Or can it?

We have specific rules of grammar, spelling, and punctuation in order to make our words the most comprehensible. Sureyoucanfigureoutwhatthissentencemeansbutitsmuchharderwithoutspacesandpunctuation. When your purpose is to provide meaning, you need to do so clearly.

~~Additionally, you are judged by your words.~~ Oops. People judge you based on how you speak and write. Extremely intelligent individuals can appear ignorant and illiterate due to simple spelling or usage errors. I'll use the ubiquitous misuse of the word "your" as an example. A friend of mine recently wrote: "[W]henever your free we should hang out!" I know that this person is neither stupid nor illiterate, but her message makes her appear so. Do not make your words reflect badly on you.

Thus begins a new Exploding Treatise on the English language. I will address the degradation of our language, great ways to use language to your advantage, and whatever else strikes my fancy at the moment of composition.

War is Hell

2006-07-06T15:14:00.000-06:00

I write with a heavy heart about the current tension between Israel and Palestine. The situation has never been good; the past, however, is starting to look sunny in comparison to the dark cloud now hanging over Gaza.

Israel's offensive in Palestine is a very dangerous and self-destructive move. I say this not because I'm an anti-Zionist (for I'm not) nor because I believe in the Palestinian right to Israel's land. However, I believe that the prospect of (relative) peace in the area is more important than an ideological battle likely to claim many lives in the coming months.

It often seems as if the odds are stacked against Israel. She cannot retaliate at will against terrorist attacks (like the United States can) without international outcry. Life isn't fair; Israel has to deal with that fact.

Israel is a dependent nation: dependent on support from the West; dependent on tolerance (not acceptance) from surrounding nations; dependent on worldwide ideological support for the right to exist. This compounds the challenges Israel faces in maintaining peace and security.

Israel, unlike the United States, cannot act unilaterally and without the consent of allies. The consequences of doing so are grave. Now, with the establishment of Hamas as a legitimate authority in Palestine, Israel must battle two issues. One, there must be relative security for the Israeli people. Two, Israel must continue to appease other nations, such as the United States, on whom she relies for survival.

These two goals present a catch-22 in the present scenario: Israel does not want to negotiate with terrorists and cannot let the recent attacks stand without response. On the flip side, Israel cannot take actions which compromise her standing with the rest of the world. The invasion of Gaza so soon after the pull-out could hinder the latter objective.

There is no obvious pragmatic solution to this evolving issue. The traditional knee-jerk, blow-'em-up reaction to terrorism that Israel was accustomed to under Sharon may no longer be viable. However, Israel cannot simply be a punching bag for terrorists--never reacting to affronts against her citizens and sovereignty. I hope and pray a solution is reached before more lives are lost and before all-out war threatens Israel's very existence.

Beauty

2006-06-21T16:02:00.000-06:00

Photo taken at Maroon Bells outside of Aspen, Colorado. 06/21/2006.